Today I was walking through the city. It was warm for January (55 or so) and gray and spring-like. Once the rain stopped, it was basically perfect, and I found myself wanting to skip down the street and savor every moment of this perfect day, because of course it will be frigid and snowing again before you can blink an eye. I was so high off the weather that I didn't even get annoyed by the pushy crowds in Whole Foods or the piles of work I am trying to catch up on after my very long vacation.
I think I have been sleepwalking through the past six months or so. These things happen from time to time, I suppose. You get busy with life and work and everything else that you just let life pass you by; you go through the motions without thinking... without stopping to smell the flowers. It happens easier than you'd think; you forget to be present in your own life. Today I felt like I was waking up from a long nap.
There isn't a whole lot I can do about the past few months, except learn from them. They haven't been bad - and infact, work-wise they've been wonderful - but I haven't been present in them. I was going, going, going and not really thinking, and suddenly it's the end of January and oh my gosh... wasn't it just September a minute ago?
While I don't really make too many resolutions - and yes, I know, I'm three and a half weeks late - I would like to try and be more present in 2010. To not let myself get so caught up in everything else that I suddenly wake up and holy cow... it's 2012. I slipped into that sleepwalking state so easily, I'm certain it could happen again if I let it. I have to remind myself to stop and listen and think and savor. Savor spring-like days in January; the extra few minutes of daylight each day; dinnertime chats with John. All of it. It moves so fast.